


Can't Get My Head Around You

by parallelcurtains



Series: Social Media AUs [5]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, She's an angel, Underage Drug Use, and fucking rich, even discovers his sexuality, even has a little sister, even is just his usual sunshiny self, isak is a rebel, isak's dad is a huge ass, noora's mum is a saint, step-siblings isak and noora, there's a wedding involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 121
Words: 12,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27191785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parallelcurtains/pseuds/parallelcurtains
Summary: Isak is a rich, rebellious guy who would do just about anything to piss his dad off. Even & his family on the other hand are barely scraping by, but he's a literal sunshine. Their paths collide when Isak tries to piss his dad off at his wedding.
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, William Magnusson/Noora Amalie Sætre, Yousef Acar/Sana Bakkoush
Series: Social Media AUs [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926439
Comments: 92
Kudos: 200





	1. Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> Number 5. This is actually a two-part-series within the series of my Social Media AUs. So, there will come a part two for this. It's actually, I think, my fave verse out of all my AUs. I've created some original characters and Even's little sis is my fave little baby. She got a lot of shit in the reactions during the second part, so I advise you to leave her alone or I'll come for you, I promise! :-P  
> Anyway, for now, let's start with the first part of this series. I'll start posting once I've finished the other one - probably tomorrow! Enjoy. <3
> 
> If you haven't read Social Media AUs before, it might take some time to get used to it. But basically, the story is made up of chats, tweets, and Instagram posts. The first part of my AUs is always a character introduction done by showing their Twitter (and sometimes Instagram profiles). I also like to use music in a way and I recommend listening to the songs I use (ksksks, no I do not have a great taste in music but they fit the story) and sometimes other elements. And there are written parts, too. You'll get the hang of it! :-) <3
> 
> Other things to mention:  
> \- English is not my first language + nothing of this is proof-read, mostly not even by myself because I'm lazy af.  
> \- the little time stamps on the posts can be ignored (unless I state otherwise) because they're annoying to adjust and - well, I'm lazy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even and his sisters are the cutest siblings in the world, okay?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's see what Isak is up to...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There'll be a wedding soon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is supposed to bring a nice young lady.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soon to be brother and sister.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak has a plan and asks Sana for help.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even thinks it's a bad idea - nevertheless, he wants to meet Isak!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first chat goes... well, semi-ideal.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even tells Yousef about his plans with Isak.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they meet for the first time.

Isak felt nervous when he entered the KB at exactly 7 pm. He didn't know why, but he did. His gaze flitted around the cafe until his eyes finally settled on a blonde guy in the far-left corner. He didn't have a cup of coffee in front of him, but instead, he had a pencil in his hand and a sketchbook was lying on the table. Isak felt his hands go sweaty, as he walked up to the table. Again, he didn't have a clue as to why his body would react like that; it just did.

"Hei," he managed to get out when he stood in front of the table the guy was sitting at. "Are you Even, by any chance?"

The guy looked up from his sketchbook and smiled a blinding smile in Isak's direction, his blue eyes sparkling as if they were literal stars. What the... who was this guy? Sana didn't mention her friend was like a supermodel or something! And why the hell was he even thinking that? He didn't care... he didn't care... Well, he didn't WANT to care, but he did. Fuck, Even was pretty and Isak suddenly was doubting if this had been a good idea. Maybe he shouldn't try to piss his dad off... at least not by pretending to date a guy; at least not a guy this fucking hot, maybe?!

"Hei," Even replied, still smiling. He nodded and gestured to the free chair across from him. "Have a seat. Would you like a coffee?"

Isak managed a nod while he slumped down on the chair.

This was not good; this wasn't good at all...

"Okay... a black one or a cappuccino, or...?" Even asked, already getting out of his chair. Isak had no idea what he had answered but Even disappeared behind the counter where, as Isak could make out now, Yousef was serving customers. He gave Yousef what he hoped would be a smile, before turning back around. While he waited for Even to come back, his gaze landed on the opened sketchbook.

Apparently Even had been sketching the buildings across the street, before Isak arrived. It was a good sketch; no, it was amazing, Isak decided.

"Do you like it?" Isak jumped and nearly lost his balance on the chair when Even came back and put down a cup in front of Isak and a glass of water for himself. Isak grabbed the cup - it was a cappuccino -and nodded quickly. "It's amazing! So... you're an artist, huh?"

Even shrugged and sat down on his chair again, closing the sketchbook and moving it to the side of the table. "It's just a hobby of mine... So, Isak... how do we do this?"

"Yeah, I don't really know... we could just like... throw questions at each other or something?" Isak blushed a little when he realized that maybe he should've thought about this before coming here.

"So, like 21 questions... Sounds good to me. You go ahead."

Thinking about the sketchbook, he just saw, Isak just blurted out the first question that came to his mind: "Who's your favorite artist?"

"That's a hard one, but I'll say Victor Vasarley. What's your favorite movie, Isak?"

"Uhm... Superman maybe. And the Marvel movies," Isak replied after a minute of thinking, worried that his answer would be too obvious or boring or... he wasn't even sure what he was worried about exactly. "Yours?" He thus added quickly to move the attention away from his choice.

"Oh, Romeo and Juliet," Even replied with a nonchalant smile, while Isak looked at him in disbelief.

"For real, Even? Oh my god... that's so fucking pretentious! Jeez, and your favorite director is probably Baz Luhrman then, huh?"

Even just kept smiling and nodded. "Yes, absolutely. He makes epic love stories, Isak. Why are you laughing?"´

"Oh no, nothing... It's fine. You're pretentious like that, I get it... so, what's your favorite color?"

"Really, Isak? That's boring... why would you want to know? It's green, though."

"Hmmm..." Isak shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. "Mine is blue. It's your turn, though..."

Even looked at him for a while, while apparently thinking about what to ask next. "What's the issue between you and your dad? Why do you want to piss him off so much?"

Oh, so they were done with shallow questions?! Isak hadn't expected that so fast, but he didn't really mind either. Of course, Even would want to know, since that was the reason for them doing what they would be doing. "He's just... I can't stand him. First of all, he is nothing but a rich snob. He never was home when I was a child, he was always working, working, working... putting his company and money before my mum and me.

He didn't even realize what was going on at home... And now he thinks he can decide what I need to do with my life?! Like picking my future wife, my career, everything? No! It's my life and I don't want to turn out just like him. I'd hate myself and my life."

"Oh... okay, I see," Even muttered, taking a sip from his water. "I think I kinda understand it better now."

Isak shrugged. "I'd get it, if you wouldn't... you didn't have to live with him for 17 years, you know? Anyway... my turn. Why are you doing this?" He pointed his finger at himself and then at Even. "I mean, sure, I'll pay you... but why do you need money? Are they not paying you enough here?"

"Hah." Even laughed silently. "No, the job pays okay... I just have a little sister and I want her to be able to do everything she wants to do, you know?"

Isak frowned. "Sure, I do. But what about your parents?" Even interrupted: "It isn't your turn, Isak... Do you have siblings?"

"No, I don't... yet! I'll have a step-sister soon," Isak replied. "Her name is Noora, you'll meet her on Saturday. I think you'll like her."

Taking the hint, Isak didn't ask about Even's parents again: "Tell me more about your sister then."

"Oh... Ida is amazing! She turns 15 in June and goes to Bakka. She's doing so well in almost all of her classes. I'm so proud of her, really... She's into arts, as well... But she loves music more. She can play the piano, but we don't have one at home, so that sucks a bit... She wants to become a teacher for Music and Norwegian one day." Isak nodded along, smiling. "She'll be an amazing teacher. I just know it!" His little sister was clearly a topic, Even liked to talk about. He seemed to love her with all his heart and Isak was sure that he was the best big brother, Ida could wish for.

"Ida is really lucky to have a brother like you," Isak heard himself say, once Even had finished. He hadn't even realized he spoke until he finished his sentence and blushed wildly.

Even was nice enough to ignore him and continued. "Okay... Who's the most important person in your life?"

That question kind of threw Isak off the track. The first person that came into his mind was his mum, the second was Jonas; and he didn't really know who to choose. "I'd say my mum and my best friend, Jonas. I can't really choose. They both mean a lot to me and have done so much for me... And even though, it's complicated with my mum, I still really, really love her... Uhm, ja... Okay... So, what pisses you off the most, Even?"

"This is a hard one again, isn't it?" Even mused, while emptying his glass of water in one go. "Hmm... wow, okay... I really have to think this one through, because there are a lot of things in our society that piss me off... like injustice or how people are being mean to each other for no reason... But I'd say what pisses me off the most are these gender roles our society has created. I mean, your gender doesn't define you or what you can or can't do. It's only one feature of a person, why do we think that this decides what kind of job this person can do, what clothes this person should or shouldn't wear or how they should act. I just don't understand. It's the person's personality that should decide those things... You are a woman and want to be a mechanic or an engineer? Great, you go girl! You're are a guy and like to wear dresses, paint your nails or use make-up? Cool, go ahead, buddy! Why do we have to make these things about gender? There's so much more that makes up a person! Why can we not just see the person first?"

"Okay, I have one," Even exclaimed after a minute or so, smiling at Isak. "Have you ever been in love?"

Within a second, Isak's whole mood changed and his heart started to pound hard against his chest, his thoughts rushing through his head. Before he knew it, he stood up, nearly knocking his chair over.

"I think, we've gotten to know each other well enough... I'll text you about Saturday."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... what was that?


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and his dad - a never-ending hate story.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak apologizes to Even for running away.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're both up late at night and Ida worries a little about her bro.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't (pretend to) be together if you don't follow each other on social media!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're ready for their first appearance together.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... or maybe they aren't ready after all.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And in they go.

Isak didn't know what he was thinking when he wrote what he had written in those texts while sitting on a bench in front of the restaurant with Even. But now it was too late; and there was no point crying over spilled milk! He had learned that much very early in life... So instead he hoisted himself up from the bench and raised his eyebrows at Even.

"Are you coming, or what?" He asked the older boy, one of his eyebrows still raised. In return, he received a bright laugh that made him smile himself. Then Even got up from the bench, too, and they walked to the entrance of the restaurant in silence.

In front of the entrance door, they both stopped at the same time and stared at the door for a minute. "Ready?" Even was the first to move. He closed his hand around the door handle and looked at Isak with big blue eyes. "It will be fine, Isak... Just remember that we can leave anytime you want!"

"Shit, dude... you're the one who should be anxious, not me," Isak replied, nervously brushing his fingers through his hair. "I mean... at least I know what to expect, but you...? Okay, I just... whatever my dad says, I apologize for it in advance, okay? He's a dick and I don't share any of his values or opinions. I just want you to know this before we go in..."

Isak fell silent the moment he felt Even's hesitant fingertips brush against his own. Or more like, his whole body stopped functioning; he stopped speaking, he stopped moving and he stopped breathing, too.

"It will be fine, Isak," Even muttered. "If I really cared about what your dad would say about me, I would not have agreed to do this, right?! So, let's just do it... Isak??!"

The only thing Isak managed to do, was to give him the smallest of nods, while he was very aware of their fingertips touching. His skin there tingled - a feeling that slowly started to spread up his hand and his arm.

Shit, why did this feel this way?

He had done a lot more with the girls his dad had hooked him up with, but that never even made him feel anything close to this; never had his skin prickled, never had his heart beaten like it wanted to get out of his chest. Why would such a small touch that he could barely feel, make him feel - so much?

"Are you okay, Isak?" Even's voice was very close, and his breath hot against Isak's ear, sending shivers down his back. "We can leave if you don't want to go in after all..."

As Isak shook his head no, he could feel Even's lips brush over his ear, since he was that close. However, instead of jumping, his body just froze.

That was the moment Even decided it would be a good idea to slip his fingers between Isak's and intertwine their hands. "We're in this together. I'm right here, Isak," he said while squeezing Isak's hand tight. Thank god, the rest of his body was not as close anymore or Isak might just have imploded. "Soo... what do you say, hm? Should we go in?"

Isak cleared his throat - twice - before he agreed: "Let's do it! We can't turn back now!"

While trying to gather himself back together, Isak weakly smiled up at Even and then open the entrance door to the restaurant, since both of Even's hands were now busy with holding either flowers or Isak's hand.

Once inside, a waitress came up to them and led them to the separate room that had been reserved for his dad, Marit, and about 80 guests of which about 20 had arrived already. To calm his nerves, Isak squeezed Even's hand even tighter while dragging him along in the direction of his father. The sooner they could get the first interaction over and done with, the better. He ignored Noora who gasped when he passed her and William with Even in tow and ignored his aunt waving at him, too. He just wanted to get to his father who was standing in the far corner of the room, talking to some C-level executives of his company.

Nevertheless, before he could reach his dad, Marit appeared out of nowhere and wrapped him in a hug forcing him to let go of Even. Isak wasn't sure what to think about that or how it made him feel, but he had no time to ponder on it. "It's so good to see you, Isak," Marit said and let go of him to take a look at Even instead. "And you are?"

Even extended his now free hand. "I'm Even," he introduced himself to Marit, before handing her the big bouquet of flowers. "I'm Isak's boyfriend."

Isak nearly choked upon hearing Even say these words with such confidence. And then he felt Even's warm hand on the small of his back, which didn't help at all.

Oh fy faen, this was the worst idea he had ever had in his life.

Marit beamed at them. "Oh, how nice to meet you, Even," she exclaimed while squeezing Even's upper arm. "I was wondering when Isak would finally introduce us to someone he actually likes... instead of these girls your father keeps trying to push your way... Let's go and introduce you to Terje! He'll be delighted to meet you."

 _What the fuck just happened?_ Isak kept thinking, while being dragged along to go and introduce his 'boyfriend' - who still had his hand on his back making his skin tingle, even through three layers of fabric - to his father.

Everything went exactly according to plan - except that it didn't! Not at all!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dad isn't happy about Isak's new boyfriend - Noorhelm is rather confused and maybe a little suspicious.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's have some visuals of how the party is progressing.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and Even have had enough of the party.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're roaming around Oslo at night.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonas is maybe a little jealous and gets informed about the plan.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and Even continue their question game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note in the second picture how Isak wants to reply to that question at first (in the typing line), but then in the third picture actually answers with something else. ;-)


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are interrupted by family issues - and this time, it's not Isak's family.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cool.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marit asks the right questions.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They like hanging out with each other.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things at the Bech Naesheim home are still shit...


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not a date after all. ;-)


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're all very cute.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a good time at the cinema.

Even stepped closer to Isak while his little sister was off to buy herself some popcorn with the money, he had given to her. "Sorry about this... really," he said in a low voice to the younger boy.

Isak turned his head and looked up at Even, shrugging a little. "It's okay, Even, really... She's a nice girl and we still hang, right? So, everything is okay..."

"Promise?" Even asked and looked at him with blue puppy eyes. "I mean... we have to watch this chick-flick now!"

Isak's laugh was bright and loud and beautiful and made Even's heart skip a beat. "It's fine... I mean, to be honest, I would've expected this kind of movie choice from you anyway!"

Even gasped loudly and elbowed Isak. "Wow, okay, that was really rude...?!"

Isak laughed again while shaking his head this time. "Was it? I didn't know, sorry... I just wanted to be honest with you," he retorted. A broad smile rested on Isak's lips while he looked at Even teasingly. A sight that brought back most of these feelings that Even already had when he had grabbed Isak's hand on Saturday. These feelings he couldn't quite put his finger on so far.

"Actually, Is... maybe it would be better if you just went back home and leave Ida and me alone." Even tried to keep a straight face during his comeback, but he wasn't sure he managed. "I don't think I like hanging with someone who questions my taste in movies!"

"Okay, then... Evy" - the way the nickname Ida used for him sounded in Isak's low voice, made shivers run down Even's back - "Enjoy your movie night with your little sister..." As Isak turned away from him and started to walk away, all while keeping a straight face, Even couldn't stop himself from grabbing his arm hastily to stop him, even though he knew that Isak was just mocking him.

They both froze at the touch and Even didn't know how to let go of Isak's arm anymore; he felt physically incapable of doing so.

At least, until Ida came back with a big bucket of popcorn. Her eyes suspiciously wandered from Even to Isak to Even's hand around Isak's lower arm and back to Even. Then she started to smile brightly and shoveled popcorn into her mouth - probably to stop herself from saying anything.

"Are we ready to go in?", Even asked after clearing his throat and letting go of Isak.

They were halfway through the movie and Even had no idea what was happening at all. He was sitting between Ida and Isak, the bucket of popcorn was on his lap and all Even could see was Isak's hand that disappeared into the bucket every now and then to steal some popcorn. He was completely fixated on that hand, his thoughts flashing back to how it had felt to hold it in his. The way his skin had tingled, the way his heart had skipped a beat every other second, and how the only thing he remembered thinking was that he didn't want to ever let go of this soft, small hand that felt like it belonged right there in his.

After Isak had, once again, helped himself to a handful of popcorn, he rested his hand on the armrest between them and Even didn't know how to breathe anymore.

He was so close.

So close, so close, so close. All he had to do was to take his own hand away from the bucket he was unnecessarily keeping in place with both his hands and put it on Isak's. His heart hammered against his rib cage, as he moved his hand away from the bucket and towards the armrest.

It didn't have to mean anything, right? Isak was straight... and so was he... Right?

When his hand finally landed on Isak's after what felt like minutes, Even could feel something ignite in him. His body was on fire, while he held his breath in anticipation, waiting for Isak to move his hand away. But he didn't - he did jolt a little at first and Even was sure that Isak stared at him, but he kept his gaze on the screen, his face flushed. He could hear Isak taking in a hard and deep breath before he could feel him relax in his seat, his hand going pliant as well.

They continued watching the movie like that - or, in Even's case, continued to not watch the movie at all - for several minutes.

Then, all of a sudden, before Even even realized it, Isak turned his hand around and spread apart his fingers, so that Even's slipped right in between them. It made Even gulp and his heart pound hard against his rib cage again. But he took the hint and interlaced their fingers, squeezing Isak's hand tightly, retrieving a sigh from the other boy.

And that's how they finished watching the movie.

And it didn't have to mean anything. It didn't.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ida sees right through her brother and Even has some things to figure out, clearly.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hands...


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They plan to go suit shopping soon!


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun at the clothing store. ;-)


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> William is also on his way to get a suit.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Even found a suit, it's Isak's turn... or is it?

"It looks really good on you," Isak whispered again after he had taken the picture of Even in his new suit. "I'll definitely buy you this one! If you wouldn't come to the wedding as my fake-date, my two cousins would be all over you in this one, I swear! Uhm, ja... great! I guess it's my turn now."

Even nodded, already taking off the bowtie. He cleared his throat and looked for somewhere to put the bowtie, so he didn't have to look at Isak. "Yeah... Too bad for them I'm dating you... or, well, you know... fake-dating..."

"Ja, fake-dating," Isak repeated and moved away from Even who now took off his suit jacket. He started to randomly file through some suits next to him, not really paying attention as his thoughts were still hung up on Even in that suit. It was a sight that was more than worth seeing. Actually, to be quite honest, his breath had been hitching, the moment Even had stepped out of the changing room. Not that he'd ever admit it, but it was true.

"Try this one."

Isak froze when he felt Even behind him. The older boy was way too close. His breath was brushing against the curls in Isak's neck and his chest was almost touching his back.

Then he leaned over Isak to take a suit from the rack and hold it up in front of Isak. He was even closer now and Isak could smell him all over. Even smelled of the coffee he didn't even like and something that was probably some lemony shower gel he used.

Isak had no idea what made him do it, but he turned around so that he was now facing Even who gulped at him.

There was a little thud-sound behind Isak signaling that Even had dropped the suit. But neither of the boys truly noticed, being too busy getting lost in each other's eyes.

As Even edged a little closer, Isak dropped his gaze to hide the blush covering his cheeks up to his ears. He couldn't quite fathom what was happening, probably because his brain was too occupied with wanting it to happen and trying to find out how it could make it happen, while simultaneously being scared of it actually happening.

But Isak had no time to sort out his thoughts, before he could feel Even's fingertips on his chin, slowly dipping it up until their eyes reconnected. By now, Isak was holding his breath in anticipation and his cheeks were most likely of a bright burning red. His eyes kept alternating between Even's lips and his eyes, while the only thought occupying his brain was how those soft, plush lips would feel on his.

He couldn't believe that he would actually find out in about a minute...

Isak leaned in a little more, his hands finding the collar of Even's white dress shirt to hold on to and his lips already slightly opening. He didn't know if all this suspension was sweet or actual torture.

Just as Even was closing his eyes and leaning further down towards the smaller boy, his lips almost touching Isak's already, there was a loud noise behind them as if someone was tripping over and taking down some heavy objects with him. It made them break apart instantly and Isak spun around in one quick motion just to see William sprawled on the floor between suits while Noora was laughing at him.

Fy faen! What were they doing here? Had they seen them - was it maybe the reason why William fell over? Shit, shit, shit... His heart was racing, and he felt like panicking.

Without saying a word to either Noora and William or Even, he grabbed the suit Even wanted him to try on from the floor and rushed to the changing room.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak got his suit, too!


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, Noorhelm knows what's up and resolves to help Evak.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even is "Desperate for changing, starving for truth" ;-)

Desperate for changing, starving for truth  
I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you  
  
I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held on to  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you  
  
Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete  
I'll take your invitation, you take all of me now  
  
I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held on to  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you  
I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
And I don't know what I'm diving into  
Just hanging by a moment here with you  
  
There's nothing else to lose, there's nothing else to find  
There's nothing in the world that can change my mind  
There is nothing else  
There is nothing else  
There is nothing else  
  
Desperate for changing, starving for truth  
I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you  
  
I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held on to  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you  
I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
And I don't know what I'm diving into  
Just hanging by a moment here with you  
  
Just hanging by a moment  
Just hanging by a moment  
I'm hanging by a moment  
Just hanging by a moment here with you


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and his dad, a never-ending story of hate and frustration.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, Even makes progress and tells Yousef what he found out about himself.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is skipping school and Sana tries to set him straight.


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An embarrassing moment leads to Even opening up to his wise little sister.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone misses his fake boyfriend.


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Said boyfriend is wallowing in his misery.


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ida tries to help the boys but they're way too stubborn.


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak got into a fight and asks Noora for help.


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak finally getting some motherly love. <3

Noora opened the door for him quietly and looked him up and down for a second, before gasping. "Shit, Is," she whispered while letting him in. "What happened, who did this to you?"

Isak just shrugged her off and went past her to get straight to the bathroom on the right side. He hadn't been to Noora's home often, but he could remember that much from his seldom visits.

When he looked at himself in the mirror, he kind of understood why Noora had looked at him the way she had: he looked way worse than he felt. Probably, because he had a nosebleed from hell ever since the guy's fist had hit him there. His eyes being bloodshot from the weed completed his looks perfectly.

"Wow, shit..." He muttered to himself, before grabbing a towel and holding it under the turned-on tap to get it wet.

"I'll be right back," Noora said from the door, before disappearing deeper into the flat.

Isak shrugged and sat down on the edge of the bathtub while holding the now drenched towel against his bleeding nose. He didn't really care where she went - all he wanted was for the bleeding to stop, so he could clean up a little and go home to sleep.

Oh, what he would give for a good night's sleep right now!

"Isak?" He snapped when he heard a voice that wasn't Noora's. It nearly made him fall backwards into the tub.

He felt very betrayed when Marit sat down next to him and took the towel from him to have a look at his nose. He made sure to convey as much of that feeling in the glance, he bestowed on Noora before her mother asked him to please keep still.

"Noora," Marit suddenly said and looked up from Isak to look at her daughter. "You can go back to sleep, honey... You have to get up early tomorrow, don't you?"

All Isak could hear was the door closing and he assumed that he was now alone with Marit who would probably start to interrogate him any second now. But she didn't! Instead, she just carefully and softly tended to his nosebleed.

Once that had been taken care of, she got up and handed Isak a sweater that probably belonged to William. "Change into this and leave the dirty one in the laundry, I'll take care of the bloodstains," she said, already opening the door. "Come to the kitchen once you're done." Then she left and closed the door to give Isak some room to change — and possibly to gather his thoughts.

And Isak complied, once he had changed into William's sweater, he tip-toed over to the kitchen where Marit was waiting for him with two steaming cups of... hot chocolate? A surge of warmness and affection rushed through Isak that nearly made him tumble over. He couldn't remember the last time someone had made hot chocolate for him in the middle of the night.

"Sit," Marit ordered him and gestured to the empty chair across from her at the small kitchen table.

Once again, he obeyed and sat down — his fingers immediately finding the cup and pulling it closer. He took a sip before he put the cup down and stared at his fingers spread around it to avoid Marit's gaze.

"Okay now, Isak... What happened, hm? Who did this and how did you get in that kind of situation, love? Why are you even out at this kind of hour?"

His thoughts were hung up on the term love, while his mouth already formed defensive words: "I'm 17, Marit... I can be out at midnight if I want to be, okay? It's not like there's someone at home waiting for me." His grip on the cup got firmer as he spoke. "It was just some dude at the bar I was at."

"What kind of bar? And what kind of dude?" Marit wanted to know, her gaze pulling the words from Isak rather than her words. And Isak's cheeks flushed pink when she asked about the bar. He shouldn't have gone there; he didn't know why he went there... But he had been high and a little drunk, so he had thought of it as a good idea. Quite obviously, it hadn't been!

He shrugged, taking another sip from the cup. "Just some bar and just some dude... I don't know," he muttered. "It doesn't matter... It's not like I'm really hurt, or anything."

Marit kept looking at him as if she could stare right into his soul and it made Isak wiggle about uneasily on his chair. What if she actually could see right through him? But then she sighed and got up from her chair. "Well, you tell me, whenever you're ready, love," she whispered while taking the cup out of Isak's hand to pull him up from his chair, too. Isak looked at her in utter confusion and gasped when he was pulled into a firm hug. "Whenever you're ready... I'll prepare the sofa for you. You can sleep here tonight, okay?"

Isak didn't trust himself to speak, so he just nodded.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A black eye.


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak not replying to his friends.


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ida has had enough of the boys acting stupid and tries to take things into her own hands.


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even answers the question he never got to answer.


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Even is in love with Isak but has recently started to meet another guy because he thinks Isak doesn't have feelings for him...


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak, after talking to Even again, finally also feels like talking to his friends again.


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Even's gonna meet up with his new friend tonigh.


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still bickering with Isak in the comment, even if he has a visitor.

Lars put his hand over Even's phone and took it out of his hand. "Stop texting, pretty boy," he said in a low voice while pulling Even closer by his hand. "Or is it something important?"

Even laughed shyly upon being called 'pretty boy' - especially considering that Lars himself was a very beautiful man. "Uh... no, it's not important. Sorry, I'll stop."

"Are you texting the guy, you'd rather be kissing right now?" Lars raised his eyebrows at him. His hand was in the crook of Even's neck now, their foreheads nearly touching. "Forget about him for now..."

Even nodded and closed his eyes, before closing the last bit of distance between them to put his lips on Lars'. While their kiss deepened, Even's hands found their way to Lars' hips. He let them slip under his shirt and put them to rest on the smooth skin underneath.

Kissing and touching Lars felt really good and Even was definitely sure that he found a good guy to 'explore his sexuality' with or, how Lars had put it, to test the waters with.

The thing was just... there was indeed someone he'd rather be kissing right now. Someone with pretty blonde curls and deep green eyes. Someone who usually wore leather jackets and ripped jeans. Someone who was harsh and rude on the outside, but soft inside. Someone who sometimes only smiled for Even. Someone who he never would be able to kiss. Someone who didn't want to kiss him back.

"What are you thinking about, pretty boy?" Lars whispered into the kiss before lightly biting Even's lower lip. Even opened his eyes and back away just a little.

"I... nothing... I just... maybe we can do more than kissing today?"

A hand ran through Even's hair - it was a big hand, not small like Isak's would be - to calm him. "If that is what you really want, Even, we can do that."

And Even nodded, slowly getting up from his spot on the sofa. "I'm sure."


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looks like the night didn't go as planned...


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone ready for the trip to Bergen? ;-)


	62. Chapter 62

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evak and Noorhelm on their roadtrip to Bergen.


	63. Chapter 63

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive in Bergen, but there seems to be a problem at the hotel...


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looks like we found the people responsible for this mix-up.


	65. Chapter 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Which side of the bed? ;-)

After spending about two hours exploring the city, Isak and Even slowly walked back to their hotel. It was some overpriced 5-star-hotel in the middle of the city and close enough to the harbor. Even would normally never set a foot inside such a hotel. But upon entering the lobby earlier, he had barely been able to keep his mouth shut or to hide his awe. It was impressive!

Now, however, he didn't really feel like going in already... He was afraid that this whole sharing a bed part would make their stay rather awkward. And he was afraid that he might make it even more awkward since he had no idea how his body would react to being so close to Isak. Considering how it sometimes already reacted when Even was solely thinking about him, these two nights were bound to get more than just awkward. It would be straight out embarrassing!

"Okay; why did we stop?" Isak’s question lures Even out of his thoughts and he looks over to the younger boy, shrugging. "Well, then... let's go in. I'm cold, to be honest, and it's getting late."

Even nodded and followed Isak inside, into the elevator, and up to their room — or, to put it correctly, their junior suite with a fucking skylight over the bed and a huge fucking bathroom with heated tiles - like a puppy.

Once they were inside the room, Even took off his jacket and his shoes, putting them away tidily, while Isak just left them, where he took them off. A thing so much like Isak and so endearing, it made Even's heart do a somersault and lit his face with a fond smile.

Jeez, was he really that gone already for this stupid boy and his habits that would probably seem annoying to anyone else?

Isak stood in front of the bed and frowned at it, while Even also got rid of two more layers so that he was left with only his shirt and his jeans when he stepped behind Isak. "Which side do you want to sleep on?" He asked in a low voice, way too close to Isak's right ear. He could practically see the shiver that ran down Isak's spine and it made Even melt inside.

"Uhm... uh... I... I usually sleep on the left side," Isak stuttered. "But if you don't... I'm fine with whatever..." The way he reacted to him sometimes made Even wonder... Honestly, this wasn't a very straight reaction, was it?

What if Isak just didn't want to or simply couldn't commit himself to his truth yet? What if he wanted Even as much as Even wanted him and was just too scared of admitting it?

"I'm gonna go brush my teeth," Isak suddenly blurted out, and then he was in the bathroom in no time, leaving Even all worked up. Even swallowed hard and moved towards the bed to sit down on the edge and cool himself down a little and to gather his thoughts.

*

When Isak came back into the bedroom, Even was already lying in bed, his back turned towards Isak's side of the bed and the duvet pulled up to his chin.

It made Isak breathe out in relief.

He quickly undressed to his shorts and crawled into bed, lying on his back and looking up into the night sky through the skylight.

The 'brushing of his teeth' had taken him almost 15 minutes and he still didn't feel very calmed down. On the contrary - being so close to Even, in one and the same bed, made him overly aware of everything: how the bed felt under him, how the sky was dark above him, how Even's breathing was unsteady, matching his own, or of how much space he took up on the bed. Was it maybe too much? Should he crouch more to the edge of the bed to give Even more room?

"Good night, Is," he heard the other boy whisper into the quiet room.

It made him calm down a little in an instant. "Good night, Ev."


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God natt, Evy!


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, good morning to you... ;-)

When Isak woke up, he not only felt warm and comfortable but also very well rested - a feeling he rarely experienced when waking up.

It took him quite some time to realize why he felt the way he felt. He was spooning Even! As in - his front was closely pressed to Even's back and his arm was wrapped around Even's waist with Even's hand on top of his.

As soon as he had fully realized that, Isak felt a blush spread from his neck up to his ears.

Fy faen... how the hell has this happened? And why the fuck did it make him feel so good that he wanted it to last forever? But I wouldn't last forever, it couldn't. Once Even would wake up, this would be over - because Even was straight and - in theory - so was Isak himself. At least everyone thought he was, except of course his dad and his engagement party guests and soon also all his wedding guest, including Isak's grandma, his aunts, and uncles, his cousins... Sometimes he could even make himself believe that he wasn't gay at all, that he never had had a crush on his best friend and that he wasn't falling hard for Even.

Isak took a deep breath and tried to move as little as possible to avoid waking Even up. As long as Even was asleep, he could enjoy their closeness and he could think about how it would feel to wake up like this every morning.

*

Even didn't know what to do.

Isak was spooning him so close that he could barely breathe. It wasn't that he wanted to complain about it - far from it.

The actual problem was that he had a problem. A very hard problem in his pants that had gotten worse ever since he woke up about ten minutes ago. And now that Isak had woken up - his breathing had become so unsteady that Even had noticed within seconds -, he had to somehow get rid of his hard-on or this would end in embarrassment and shame. But he had no clue how to do that when Isak, even though he was awake for at least two minutes now, kept on holding him close. The feel of Isak's crotch against his ass outweighed all his attempts to think of disgusting things.

Also, it turned out to be quite hard to think of disgusting things when his brain was occupied with analyzing why Isak was spooning him - why he was still spooning him when he was awake. Because it was one thing to unconsciously cuddle close to someone in your sleep and then let go as soon as you woke up and another to continue cuddling that person once you've woken up. How, how on earth, was this supposed to be fucking straight? There was no possible straight answer for this!

And whatever the fuck Isak said, he was definitely not straight, and Even would tell him that he wasn't either!

Well... as soon as he got rid of this problem of his, at least... And maybe he should wait for a good moment, too. But he would! And then maybe they could actually date for real instead of this stupid 'fake-dating'.

"Uhm... God morgen, Is." Even decided to just rip the band-aid off and escape this situation. "Could you maybe let go of me... I really, really need to go to the bathroom?"

Isak's body was gone so fast that it took Even a second to even realize it and then he felt sad about it.

Shit, maybe he should've thought about this some more... Probably Isak had assumed that he was still asleep and that it was safe to spoon him. And now he made Isak realize that Even hadn't been asleep at all, that he had been aware of what Isak was doing.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry..." Isak blurted out and out of the corner of his eyes Even saw him clutching on to his duvet while blushing bright red. "I didn't... I wasn’t... I mean... I was still asleep, and I don't know why I... I... that wasn't... I'm sorry, really..."

"No worries," Even said quietly and slipped out of bed, his back to Isak at all times. "It's fine... I just really need to use the bathroom."

And with this, he rushed into the bathroom and locked the door shut behind him, before lowering himself against it in relief.


	68. Chapter 68

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're ready to start the wedding!


	69. Chapter 69

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some visuals from the wedding! :)


	70. Chapter 70

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nice wedding...


	71. Chapter 71

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boys in suits and discussions about couples.


	72. Chapter 72

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding games!


	73. Chapter 73

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You may kiss the bride... ahhh, uhm, I mean...

Isak wasn't paying any attention when Noora and William, who had fulfilled the last task, went up to the wheel to spin it. He was too busy with his second helping of dessert — a more than yummy mousse au chocolate!

So, he was rather surprised when Noora called out his and Even's names. "Huh? What?" He asked, turning inquiringly towards Even, looking at him with big, questioning eyes. "What's happening?"

Even didn't answer, however, so Isak turned his head towards Noora and William. Then his gaze fell on this stupid wheel thing and he read the task it had stopped on.

_Pick a couple to kiss._

No, no, no, no... This surely couldn't be what was happening now, right? They had not picked Even and him to kiss in front of everyone. They couldn't have — they both knew that they were only faking this, and William had already done enough with his stupid Instagram posts.

"Uhm... uh... okay... I don't know... shall we?" Even asked, confirming that this was, in fact, happening for real. They really expected them to kiss while everyone in the room was watching them! Like... how was he even supposed to do that? He has never kissed Even and Even didn't want to kiss him...

And fuck...

"Ja, okay," Isak whispered. "But just like... a little peck or something, okay? I can't do more than that..."

Even just nodded and smiled at him reassuringly, before pulling him closer by his neck, where he had put one of his hands. His fingertips were playing with the tips of Isak's curls. Probably to calm him down, but the exact opposite was happening: Isak's breath hitched even further and his heart started to beat in an unsteady rhythm.

Isak had no idea how he was supposed to survive this... Any second now he would kiss Even. In front of his dad, in front of all his relatives and about 50 other people he barely knew. That was in no way how he imagined his first kiss with a boy would happen. But there was no possible way out of this now, so he had to somehow deal with it.

He only ever realized how close he was to Even already when he focused on him to forget about all the eyes that were on them. "It's fine, Is... come here, I've got you, okay?"

Isak wasn't sure if it was the words or the blue of Even's eyes that calmed him down instantly. But whatever it was, it did the trick.

"There's a good boy," Even whispered, a smug smile on his lips, before he pressed those lips to Isak's without any hesitation. It made Isak's heart tumble again and his hands gripped on to Even's dress shirt - he had taken off his jacket quite a while ago -, his nails digging into the older boy's arms to keep Isak steady, as he was sure he'd fall off his chair otherwise.

Isak had no clue how long Even's lips were on his because it felt like an eternity and way too short at the same time. But once Even let him go, Isak felt shaky all over and he just knew that a blush had spread across his whole face.

And that everyone could see!

Fuck... Once again Even had made him feel so much with so little. It was probably for the best that they would never kiss for real or do even more than that, Isak would shatter into a million pieces if Even ever touched him for real.

"I'm gonna go and spin the wheel," Even whispered close to his ear and pressed a kiss there, making Isak shiver. "You don't look like you can stand up right now, to be honest."

What a little shit!

But he was right, though... Isak was sure that he would fall over if he got up right now. His legs felt as if they were made of jelly and his heart was racing faster than a Formula 1 car.


	74. Chapter 74

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More wedding visuals... Isak loves the candy bar.


	75. Chapter 75

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a talk - but Noora still has shitty timing.

"Do you know, where Isak went?" Even asked Noora as she was about to pass him on her way to the restrooms.

Noora frowned a little but then nodded. "I think I saw him go outside... Maybe he needed some fresh air?!"

Even thanked her with a smile, before leaving her to get out of the hotel and find Isak outside.

He found him on one of the stone things that could serve as a seat on the square in front of the hotel. The younger boy seemed to be deep in thought and didn't take notice of Even until he was standing right in front of him.

"Oh, hei," he whispered, already blushing a little. "I just needed some fresh air... Sorry for leaving you in there."

"Don't worry, I survived," Even chuckled before taking a seat next to Isak and leaning into him just a little more than necessary. "Are you okay? You seem a little upset."

Isak looked up at him with a raised eyebrow and it was only now that Even saw the blunt in his hand. "No, I'm fine... I just really needed to breathe for a bit... It's a lot... today... I don't know how to word it... and it makes me think of my mum, too."

Isak shrugged and took a drag from his blunt, before offering it to Even who declined. "Doesn't go well with my meds, but thanks... Do you want to talk about your mum? It's fine if not..."

"Not really. Thanks for offering, but I just... I don't want to get in a shit mood and ruin the wedding," Isak whispered, before blowing smoke into the night.

Even had to chuckle again. "You don't want to ruin the mood? Really, Isak? Isn't the whole point of me being here to ruin the mood?"

Isak sighed while stubbing out the blunt on the ground. "It was... I just don't know if I want to do that anymore... You made me think, Even. About so many things, you know? Ever since I met you, I feel... I feel like I should be... better. A better person... because you're so good, Even. So fucking good."

Now it was Even's turn to blush, and he lowered his gaze so that he didn't have to look at Isak. Wow... Not only had Isak called him a good person, no, Isak also felt changed by Even as he felt by Isak. Maybe this was the right time to tell him about it? Isak was opening up to him and perhaps Even telling him something in return, would make him talk even more openly.

"Thanks, but to be quite honest, you also made me question and realize some things, Isak." Even turned his gaze back on Isak, smiling at him with full force. "You're amazing, never doubt that... Anyway, one of the things I realize in the past months is that... that I'm not completely straight. I always thought I was because you know... I had a girlfriend and I loved her, and I never cared for anyone else. But after we broke up, I started to pretend to date a guy - you - and I started to think about this whole concept of sexuality and attraction and how gender does factor into that and I found out that for me... Gender doesn't really affect my attraction towards a person, you know? So... yeah, actually, what I want to say is that you made me realize that I'm pansexual, Isak and..."

Before he could finish his speech and tell Isak about his feelings for him, Noora rushed towards them. "There you are!! Come on... come inside! It's time for the wedding dance. Hurry up!"

For fuck's sake... Even looked from Noora to Isak who already got up from his seat next to Even. But he stopped and looked at Even, smiling brightly down at him. "That's... great, Even! Really, I'm happy for you! And also... uhm, thanks for telling me, I guess? I think it's really... brave of you."

Even could basically hear the unspoken words behind that sentence: _I wish I was as brave._ And if he wasn't sure before, he now knew and he would find a way to make Isak brave, too.


	76. Chapter 76

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding dance.


	77. Chapter 77

Once the wedding dance was over and done with and people started to file onto the dance floor, Even stood up, as well. Isak frowned up at him and raised both eyebrows when the older boy offered him his hand.

"What the fuck are you doing, Even?" Isak asked more than confused.

"What does it look like, you little idiot?" Even replied. "I'm asking you to dance with me, of course!"

Isak gasped and shook his head immediately. That would not be happening! First of all, it would be way too embarrassing, considering he couldn't dance at all, and secondly, because he wouldn't be able to handle it; being that close to Even for at least three minutes. "No way," he refused, still shaking his head. "I don't dance, Even. I can't even dance!"

"No worries..." Even just took his hand and pulled him up from his chair in one swift move. "I will lead!"

Isak had no choice but to follow Even onto the dance floor, stumbling behind him.

As soon as they had reached a quiet corner of the dance floor, Even pulled him closer and his free hand found its way to the small of Isak's back. Isak had no clue where hands went while dancing, but he was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to go that low?!

However, Even didn't give him the time to ponder on that as he pulled Isak even closer. So close, that their foreheads were touching when Even leaned down a little. "Just... don't think, Is," he whispered. "I'll do all the work and you just tag along, okay? We'll be fine!"

Isak gave him the smallest of nods, before lowering his gaze. He couldn't handle staring into the blue of Even's eyes from that up close. If he did, he'd get lost in those eyes forever. So, instead, he stared at Even's chest, focusing on the loosened black bowtie that was completely askew.

The moment an Ed Sheeran song started playing from the speakers, Even started to slowly sway them. Isak wanted to roll his eyes at this being such a fucking cliché, but instead, he felt a content smile creeping up on his face. He couldn't even make fun of the fact that they weren't really dancing. They were just swaying from left to right, but it didn't matter...

And, without knowing if it was a conscious decision or if it happened without his doing, Isak closed his eyes and let his head rest against Even's chest.

Was there any way to make this moment last forever? Isak would give his heart and soul to make it last. Never, never in his whole life, had he felt so calm, so good... so... _loved_?!

_Loving can hurt_   
_Loving can hurt sometimes_   
_But it's the only thing_   
_That I know_

_And when it gets hard_   
_You know it can get hard sometimes_   
_It is the only thing that makes us feel alive_

_We keep this love in a photograph_   
_We make these memories for ourselves_   
_Where our eyes are never closing_   
_Hearts are never broken_   
_And time's forever frozen still_

_So you can keep me_   
_Inside the pocket_   
_Of your ripped jeans_   
_Holdin' me closer_   
_Till our eyes meet_   
_You won't ever be alone_   
_Wait for me to come home_

_Loving can heal_   
_Loving can mend your soul_   
_And is the only thing_   
_That I know (know)_   
_I swear it will get easier_   
_Remember that with every piece of ya_   
_And it's the only thing we take with us when we die_

_We keep this love in a photograph_   
_We make these memories for ourselves_   
_Where our eyes are never closing_   
_Our hearts were never broken_   
_And time's forever frozen still_

_So you can keep me_   
_Inside the pocket_   
_Of your ripped jeans_   
_Holdin' me closer_   
_Till our eyes meet_   
_You won't ever be alone_

_And if you hurt me_   
_Well that's okay baby only words bleed_   
_Inside these pages you just hold me_   
_And I won't ever let you go_

_Wait for me to come home_   
_Wait for me to come home_   
_Wait for me to come home_   
_Wait for me to come home_

_Oh you can fit me_   
_Inside the necklace, you got when you were 16_   
_Next to your heartbeat_   
_Where I should be_   
_Keep it deep within your soul_

_And if you hurt me_   
_Well that's okay baby only words bleed_   
_Inside these pages you just hold me_   
_And I won't ever let you go_

_When I'm away_   
_I will remember how you kissed me_   
_Under the lamppost_   
_Back on 6th street_   
_Hearing you whisper through the phone_   
_Wait for me to come home_


	78. Chapter 78

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some Noorhelm updates. :)


	79. Chapter 79

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhhhhhh... took y'all long enough. ;-)

During their fifth dance, Even stopped their swaying and dragged his hand from Isak's back to his left cheek. With his thumb, he stroked along Isak's cheekbone until he could feel the heat rising under his fingers.

"Isak... Do you... maybe want to get out of here?" He asked very quietly — not daring to speak those words any louder, even though the background noise probably drowned out his voice. Actually, it was probably his racing heart that drowned out every other noise.

However, his heart stopped dead in his track, when Isak looked up at him all shy, a blush covering his cheeks, and his eyelids slightly lowered. Gosh, he was breathtaking, and Even didn't know how to deal with it. Isak made his body react in so many contradicting ways that Even was sure to explode someday: his heart was racing, his breath was slowing; his groin was aching, his stomach was full of butterflies; his hands were shaking, his thoughts were clear and calm.

Oh god, this boy would be the death of him, for sure.

Isak's gaze trailed from Even's eyes to his lips and his blush intensified, but then he nodded slightly. "Yes."

Even swallowed hard, before letting go of Isak's cheek and dragging him out of the room and finally out of the hotel altogether. And he wanted to get Isak further away from the hotel, someplace more romantic than this ugly square, but he simply couldn't wait.

So, instead of dragging Isak any further, Even stopped and pulled him close - as close as he could.

"I can't stop thinking about that kiss earlier, Isak... I can't stop thinking about how your lips felt on mine," Even whispered. He was so close that the tip of his nose was touching Isak's, so close that he could feel Isak's heart beating unsteadily beneath his dress shirt, so close that Isak's breath tickled the skin around his lips. So close that he could see every last shade of green in Isak's eyes.

"I..." Isak gasped and lowered his gaze, but Even shook his head and put one of his hands under Isak's chin to dip it up again. "Me neither... I had to think about it for the whole evening..."

Even's lips turned up into a smile, while he moved his thumb up over Isak's chin stopping right under his lower lip to take in Isak's reaction. The smaller boy shivered a little, but at the same time leaned in closer to Even and opened his lips the slightest bit. Even took the hint and let his thumb trace over his lower lip.

"And... what did you think of exactly, Isak?" Even asked in a low voice, as he let his thumb move to Isak's upper lip and his perfectly shaped cupid's bow instead. It forced a little moan out of the smaller boy that nearly made Even lose his shit completely. "Did you... like it? Did you like kissing me?"

"Yes, Even, I liked it," Isak sighed. His eyes were already closed, and he dipped his chin further up, practically begging Even to _please, please, please_ kiss him again already.

And Even obeyed.

One of his hands found its way into Isak's curls, while the other rested on his cheek. And then finally, his lips found Isak's and they were kissing again. Even felt his knees go weak and a firework went off somewhere inside of him. Shit, he had no idea that kissing could feel this intense! Kissing Sonja had been great and kissing Lars had been nice... But kissing Isak? It was amazing! It was stunning and it made him feel more than he ever thought would be possible.

Fy faen, he never wanted to stop kissing Isak ever again.

And right now, right here he wouldn't.


	80. Chapter 80

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In love with... Bergen...


	81. Chapter 81

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End of long, great night.


	82. Chapter 82

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A (not so) good morning...


	83. Chapter 83

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone made sure Even got his fave breakfast... but someone is also gone now.


	84. Chapter 84

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing new here, just people being worried about Isak... :(


	85. Chapter 85

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's got nowhere to stay...


	86. Chapter 86

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Eskild makes his appearance!


	87. Chapter 87

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even also arrived home... but he's sad.


	88. Chapter 88

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even takes a big step forward. So proud! <3


	89. Chapter 89

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out and proud Even.


	90. Chapter 90

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak gets some good advice from his guru! Will he finally talk to someone??


	91. Chapter 91

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak finally, finally, finally opening up to someone!

Isak couldn't believe that he was actually here, that he took Eskild's advice and was about to talk to someone about the big fucked up mess his life was.

And that it would be her, of all people.

If anyone had told Isak a year ago, when Terje introduced her as his newest girlfriend, that this would happen, he wouldn't have believed it. But here he was, knocking on her door.

"Isak!" Marit exclaimed once she had opened the door for him. It took her exactly two seconds to pull him into a bone-crushing hug that left Isak gasping for air out of different reasons. "There you are... Where have you been? Are you okay, love? Come on in... I'm gonna make some coffee for us and then I want you to tell me what happened with your father, okay?"

She didn't give him any time to respond, but just dragged him into the apartment and straight to the kitchen, where she sat him down at the kitchen table, while she busied herself with making coffee.

Isak watched her fiddling with the coffee filter from his spot at the table and thought about how to start, where to start, what to tell her, and what to not tell her. He knew, deep down, that he could trust her with anything — he just didn't quite know how to.

Some minutes later, they both had a steaming cup of coffee in front of them and Marit was sitting across from Isak, looking at him pensively and also very, very patiently.

Isak tried to escape her gaze nevertheless by taking a big sip from his coffee - and that left him with a burnt tongue and cursing. Marit silently laughed at him but didn't hesitate to get him a glass of cold water at the same time.

"Here, love... Sorry, for laughing but you looked too funny trying to cool your tongue with your hand and everything."

"Funny," Isak mumbled, but then he had to laugh a little himself and suddenly he felt something unclench within him.

And after they both laughed quietly for a minute or two, he suddenly just blurted it all out: "I'm crushing hard on Even and I don't think he could ever feel the same for me and my dad just fucking hates me even more than before. And I can never tell my mum because she's even more religious and homophobic than my dad. On top of that, she's in a really bad place for over a month now and I don't know if I'll ever get her back at all and he doesn't even care one bit. And everyone tells me to just be happy for the both of you and I want to be because you're so... great, but I don't know how I can be happy for him after everything he's done to her and to me. And I know that you love him, but I just don't get how you can love him. I don't know how my mum has stayed with him for that long... I just don't get it. I don't get anything anymore... I don't understand shit and it's driving me crazy!"

Isak hadn't even realized that he apparently had started to cry at some point during his monolog. But now that the tears started to fall onto his sleeves, he noticed and whipped them away furiously. He didn't want to fucking cry! He never cried and he especially didn't cry about his dad or...

Suddenly Marit pulled him up from his chair and wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him as tight as possible without crushing him. Isak gasped for air and then he full-on sobbed his heart out without being able to do anything about it.

And he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

He had no idea how to stop until finally, he had no more tears left and just sagged back down onto his chair.

"Oh, love..." Marit whispered after some moments, quickly drying her own eyes before Isak could notice. "For how long have you been holding all of that in, my sweet, sweet boy?"

Isak just shrugged and rubbed his face with his already wet sleeves. "I don't know... I - it's fine, I just... Sorry for that, I didn't mean to-"

But he was cut short, when Marit shook her head and interrupted him, almost angrily: "No, Isak, there's no need for you to apologize. You have done nothing wrong, love, okay? Nothing at all... And I totally get that you're angry at Terje and that things with your mum are very complicated. Terje has handled a lot of things badly, I can see that now more than ever before... But he is not a bad man. I know that this is hard for you to see and if I were you, I'd probably think of him as an asshole, too, Isak. But he does have a different side to him, and I know that he doesn't hate you. And I know that you don't hate him either. And if you let me, I will try to help both of you with working on your relationship. You probably won't ever have the happy father-son-relationship that others have, but wouldn't it be kind of nice to actually be able to talk to each other for more than a minute without getting angry?"

Again, Isak shrugged. "I don't know if I can do that... I don't even know if I want to do that, to be honest... but yeah..."

That's okay, love... For now, how about you tell me exactly what happened and what you meant when you said that Even could never feel the same for you. You looked pretty happy to me during the wedding."

"So, what happened, Isak?", Marit asked after pouring both of them a second cup of coffee. "At the wedding, I mean."

"He told me to come and talk to him, so I did and..." Isak sighed and took one, two, three deep breaths. "He was just... he was so mad, furious actually. He just went off at me and said a whole lot of bullshit and rude things."

"What things?"

Isak swallowed hard when the memories started to flood his thoughts. "Well, he just... kept going on about how I'm such a disappointment. That I've always been nothing but that and that I probably never will be anything else... And how disgusting I am for bringing Even to the wedding and pretending to be gay, just because I know that this is the one thing that would make him look bad in front of his stuck-up business partners and our religious, bigoted family. He wanted to know if I thought this was funny and how much I paid Even and..."

"Oh, Isak," Marit whispered while putting her hand on top of Isak's, squeezing it tightly. "I'm sorry about this... I don't know why he's saying such things... When he's talking to me about you, he sounds so different... Of course, he talks about all the problems the two of you have and that he doesn't like the way you handle certain things and how you behave sometimes... But he sounds more worried than... vicious or disappointed."

"Worried? Yeah, well, I guess he's a good actor... Marit, look, I'm sorry... he might be nice to you and all that, but I can't... I don't think I can ever forgive him. The thing is that what he said is actually true, though... I did bring Even to make a show and to piss him off, I did pay Even... But I'm... I tried to tell him that I am gay because I am - it's just that I never told anyone and I didn't want to be because I knew that no one would accept me... But he wouldn't even believe it, because of course his son can't be gay, he just can't be... as that would be even worse than him just faking everything to piss his father off, wouldn't it? But I am... I'm gay and I want to be with Even, but he doesn't want to be with me... And it's not like I don't understand him, of course, I do... I wouldn't want to be with me either..."

"Isak, love... Why would you say that? Of course, Even would want to be with you, darling... Have you not seen the way he looks at you? I wouldn't have guessed for one second that the two of you were just pretending; you looked so in love and so happy... You two just need to have a talk and be honest about what you feel and then everything will work out. And there's nothing bad about being gay and I'm very sure that most people would accept you just fine, love. Especially, the people that love you, you know? Your friends, your family..."

"Not my dad, though," Isak interrupted her and freed his hand from under hers, not able to deal with the kind gesture anymore. "And even though, I don't want to, I still care about that... And then there's my mum. It will be even worse with her... And he made sure to remind me of that, too. To remind me of how much she hates gays and that is a sin for her and that she would probably go _'crazy'_ on me again if I ever told her about it. He's so fucked up... I can't deal with him anymore. And I have no idea what you see in him, Marit. You're such a nice and warm and loving woman and you married this... person. I really don't get it, but I hope that he will treat you the way you deserve and that he'll make you happy. But I... You can tell him that I'll move out and that I will get my stuff as soon as I found somewhere to stay permanently."

Isak got up after that and put the empty coffee cup into the sink, before making his way to the door.

He stopped when he felt Marit's hand on his arm. "Oh, darling... my sweet boy..." Her voice was about to crack, and it made Isak swallow hard once more. "I'm so, so sorry... I wish I could do more for you than this, but... You can come to me anytime you want, Isak. You can talk to me about anything and if you need anything, be it money or something else, don't hesitate to ask me. And please know that you can stay here while we still have the place. If you don't have anywhere else to stay, please, please, please, don't think you have to stay somewhere where it might not be safe, okay? I don't want anything happen to you, love... Isak, I know I'm not your mum and I never will be, and I don't want to replace your mum, because I'm sure she's a wonderful person... But I love you, darling."

"I..." Isak could feel himself choke up and tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but it didn't work. So, he opened the door quickly and just choked out a "thank you", before rushing out of the apartment, angrily rubbing at his eyes.


	92. Chapter 92

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks to Isak's childhood and three times his mum was really bad and his dad wasn't there.

_The first time it happened, Isak was 10 years old and his dad was on a business trip somewhere in Asia._

_Young Isak had no idea what to do and how to deal with it, so he locked himself in his room, hid himself in bed, pulled the duvet up way over his head, and waited for it to pass._

_It didn't._

_Not that the day and not the next, so little Isak packed a bag with his pajamas, a toothbrush, and his favorite stuffed animal and went to seek shelter at Jonas' house._

_It was Mrs. Vasquez that prevented anything worse from happening, as she went back to Isak's house and took care of his mum, while there was still no getting hold of his dad on his business trip._

_Mrs. Vasquez had been the one that had gotten his mother help and Mrs. Vasquez had also been the one to explain to little Isak what had happened and what schizophrenia, psychosis, hallucinations, and antipsychotics meant._

_Isak's dad came home ten days later when his mum was already feeling a bit better. He acted as if nothing was wrong as if Mrs. Vasquez had made a fuss about nothing. He left again the day after and Isak realized that he couldn't rely on either one of his parents._

_*_

_The second time, Isak was 12 and he was still rather unsure how to handle the situation._

_He thus tried calling his dad at work but was dismissed repeatedly by some secretary or another. So, his 12-year-old self, too proud to call Mrs. Vasquez again, tried to handle it all by himself._

_But no matter what he tried, there was no chance of calming his mother down._

_The whole episode ended when the police and an ambulance had to come to their house because his mother was screaming at the top of her lungs while cutting herself with one of Terje's razor blades. Isak who had tried to stop her still hid a scar beneath his watch._

_The police called his father to tell him about the incident and also about the fact that his 12-year-old son had missed school three days in a row to take care of his mother._

_And from then on, his father couldn't deny anymore. But him not being able to deny it anymore, just meant that he would spend even less time at home and more time at work or on business trips._

_Isak started to not care anymore and instead learned basic cooking and how to fake his father's signature._

_*_

_The third time he was 15 and he already knew that his father wasn't in fact on a business trip, but rather enjoying himself with some other woman._

_This time, Isak didn't even try to call him. It wasn't like he would come to help him, anyway, so why should he even bother?_

_So, instead, he told himself to man up, that he was old enough and that he could handle this on his own. He didn't need his father; he never had needed him. He was old and mature enough to take care of his mother all on his own._

_He couldn't. He wasn't._

_It ended in a disaster and his mother was hospitalized for the first time because Isak had failed her. She had nearly died because Isak hadn't paid attention for a minute or two._

_After her stay in the hospital, his father had decided it would be best to send her away to some sort of home for mentally ill people. Isak has rarely managed to visit her, his guilt regularly taking over before he could set foot into the home._

_His father had told him that this would be the best solution that his mum wasn't fit to be a parent, that it would be better for him to be left with only one parent than having his mum around. But what his father didn't realize was that Isak was actually left with no parent at all._

_The next year, his father divorced his mother and started to bring women of all ages home for a night or two._


	93. Chapter 93

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Marit being the absolute best.


	94. Chapter 94

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ida (successfully?) trying to make Isak jealous with half-truths.


	95. Chapter 95

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yupp... he's definitely jealous.


	96. Chapter 96

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I want to, I want to be someone else or I'll explode."


	97. Chapter 97

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak (finally, finally!) opening up to his best friend.


	98. Chapter 98

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will they ever talk to each other again? Ugh, Ida is as fed up as we are!


	99. Chapter 99

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Progress - was about goddamn time!


	100. Chapter 100

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3


	101. Chapter 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak comes out to his mum.

Isak wasn't sure if he liked his third try on his text to his mum any better than the first and second try. He didn't know how to tell her, and he was scared of both getting a reply and not getting one. He was afraid of his mother never wanting to speak to him again because then he would indeed have no parents anymore.

Before he could think about it any further, he accidentally hit 'send', when Even came up to his table all smiles, shining eyes, and elegant movements.

He quite literally took Isak's breath away. How was it allowed for one person to be this beautiful?

"Who are you texting?" Even asked, once he was seated next to Isak, his hands wrapped around his cup of tea.

Isak shrugged and kept his eyes on Even's big hands, fighting the need to hold them in his. "Uhm... no one. Well, I had my third version of a coming-out text to my mum written out and accidentally hit send when you come over."

"Oh... shit, sorry... You can still delete it, though?" Even suggested. "I'm sure she hasn't read it yet. Mum's are not that quick with reading texts..." He laughed quietly while Isak watched his left hand unwrapping from the cup and moving towards Isak's lying flat on the table. Isak gulped and looked around in the café. Even frowned and stop in his track. "Can I?" He whispered.

Isak nodded and looked up at him shyly. "Sorry, yes... please," he muttered back, blushing a little. "I just have to get used to this... I'm sorry. And no... I don't want to delete the message. I might've never found the courage to send it on my own accord, but I needed to tell her. I'm just so scared how she will react, you know?"

"I know, Isak... but maybe she will surprise you." Even smiled at him and took the smaller boy's hand in his. "You never know... Now — do you want to get out of here? I'm finished with my shift!" 


	102. Chapter 102

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And also to the rest of the world, more or less.


	103. Chapter 103

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even takes Isak to his secret spot. <3


	104. Chapter 104

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tells Even about his mum, his dad, and how shit went down.


	105. Chapter 105

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I guess they're disgustingly happy now. <3


	106. Chapter 106

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And everyone is happy for them, too.


	107. Chapter 107

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even meets the best friend.


	108. Chapter 108

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak's Mamma replies. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys. <3  
> I think I'll finish posting this the day after tomorrow probably... sooo, in the meantime, let me know if I should post part 2 of this story next or if you want to continue the AUs in the order I wrote them/posted them on Twitter. <3


	109. Chapter 109

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Even's gonna meet the mom-in-law soon. :)


	110. Chapter 110

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The visit went great and Isak and his mum have rekindled their relationship.


	111. Chapter 111

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak moves in with Marit and Noora... for the rest of his time in Oslo at least. 👀


	112. Chapter 112

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak asks Even if he'd want to move to Trondheim with him... but Even can't, not yet.


	113. Chapter 113

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are big fat saps.


	114. Chapter 114

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a birthday surprise trip in store for Isak.


	115. Chapter 115

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're ready for their trip.


	116. Chapter 116

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Venice. <3


	117. Chapter 117

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another surprise for Isak.


	118. Chapter 118

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak gets accepted at NTNU. Ida is sad.


	119. Chapter 119

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tells his dad off.


	120. Chapter 120

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last day in Venice.


	121. Chapter 121

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy end. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, another one done! :)  
> Thank you all so much for reading me and for your kudos and comments. I appreciate y'all so much!  
> You have decided that you want the second part next... so that's what I will give you! :) Prepare for pain and suffering. And for me to kill you if you're rude to my little Ida. :P


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